Right Now, That’s All I Need.

jw
Sharjah Art Museum

Lust. Love. Forgiveness.
Right now, that’s all I need.

A chance: to live, to breathe, to be.
Right now, that’s all I need.

A book. A paper. A pen.
An ear. A smile. A hand.
Right now, that’s all I need.

I feel my tears burning through my eyes.
Oh, how I wish I didn’t know what’s outside this reality of mine.
If only I was blinded, then maybe, I can smile.
I wish I can say: “that’s God’s will,”
but what’s outside my little world makes me think otherwise.

“You know,” I whisper, “If God was real, he’ll have a lot of apologizing to do;
to us, to me, to the starving kids, to the oppressed woman, to the dying men.”
I was only seven.
“… and you know what? If he did, I won’t forgive him. I’ll send him straight to his hell.”
My sister gasps.”… and I’ll smile because he put me in mine.” I was only seven.

He took away my smile, my identity, my essence
and right now, that is all I need.

My heart holds onto bundles of hope.
My mind dreams past my reality.
“I will get there.” I look at my sister.
“It will be hard but I will get there!”
That moment I knew, I didn’t belong here.
My home is elsewhere.
My happiness is waiting for me there.

 

Love, Alyazya


25 thoughts on “Right Now, That’s All I Need.

  1. sometimes i consider that our greatest gift as humans may be that we don’t need to question god’s methods… because we’re human, and it’s simpler things that hold us together. how sometimes a well timed hand laid softly over our own can feel like whatever a heaven may be.

    either way. this was great. you write w such touch.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Questioning is we begin to develop our minds, and how we came to this point as a species. I appreciate the simple things that hold us together but I can’t deny that we are complex.

      Liked by 2 people

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