Running Away From Words

I’ve been holding myself back since September 30.

I tell myself writing is my only savior. Without it, the air is polluted and my lungs are restricted to my thoughts. I can’t breathe without coughing up blood. Yet, I find myself running away from it at times.

I don’t know why I’d let a day go by without satisfying my craving to live, to breathe in fresh air, to go on without suffocating.

Today, I make amends with myself for the thousandth time. I forgive myself for letting it go. It will happen again. I’ll lose it through words residing in the least visited parts of my body but I’ll always find a way to bring them back.

At least, that’s what I hope for.

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Love, Alyazya

17 thoughts on “Running Away From Words

  1. I don’t know if it’s the same thing but it sounds like what I refer to as being becalmed. I wouldn’t normally post my own pieces on another’s blog, it seems rude and bad form to me so I hope you’ll forgive me this one transgression as it illustrates my thought exactly,

    Becalmed
    Were I a ship of sail my canvas would drape,
    sulking from no sport save occasional flaps,
    restless timber would groan against it’s shape
    goading slack rope to sudden hemp snaps.
    I would be a plaything for currents deep
    at the mercy of stagnation’s siren scream
    trapped inside an empty waking sleep
    becalmed on the seas where Poet’s dream.

    It always comes back and you have so many poet’s seas to sail upon.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I realized from holding myself back from writing that it still is more helpful if I try to put everything (my thoughts and my feelings) into words so that I can somehow make sense of them. It’s a good thing you decided to pen them down. And I hope it gave you some form of relief. Lots of love and blessings to you. ❤💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Putting everything into words makes everything easier. Sometimes, I feel like taking a break from writing smothers me but at times I think it’s good because it allows my feelings to intensify.

      Liked by 1 person

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