Delusion

 

I’m pacing the pavement near your home and every step is a sharp pain in my chest.

IMG_8815
Chamonix Mont Blanc

A restless heart yearning to see you; it’s jumping through my bones. My body follows.

1, 2, 3 steps. 3 breaths. 600 heartbeats. In torment, the skin tightens around my bones.

My eyes flicker with the wind and I see your smile from a distance before it fades away.

1, 2, 3 more steps. I feel your arms wrap around me and I let myself go before I fall into space.

“Don’t leave me, I can’t live without you.” You’re finally here. “I’ll never leave you.”

He’s finally here.

I’m stru-stru-strutting. Bones, frail like a feather, no longer carry me but he’s here.

My heart tries in vain to break through my back and run to you. He’s finally here.

I turn around to see a figment of my imagination blend with the dark. He’ll never be here.

I’m here but all my life is with you.

My heart rests in your arms and when the cold comes all I have to do is close my eyes.

Shaken by your absence, my soul searches for you when my mind’s asleep, and every morning I wake up in tears because you’re always here although you’re never here.

 

Love, Alyazya

 


18 thoughts on “Delusion

  1. Hello to you – I thank you for liking one of my posts.
    I hope you delete this comment after you read it as I’m not seeking “likes or followers”, but it’s your blog and I cannot dictate your actions. You have my email address, so there is no need to keep this comment yes? I do wish to tell you that your blog is the only one I’ve commented on since starting this site. I very seldom ‘like’ or ‘comment’ on a poetry blog because honestly. . . I find them terrible. That sounds elitist I know, and I hate myself for it. They are either angsty like a teenager, or filled with death, depression, and despair. I like poetry though, it speaks to me as no other literary form. Let’s take you for instance, your words seem quite planned, quite thought out so as not to alarm. But the feeling I get from you is there is so much more. You hide and conceal (very well) what you are truly troubled with. What you don’t say is much more effective than what you do say, and I wish for you to know that I sense it. You and your words move me in a strange and uncanny way. Have a lovely weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love what you’ve done with the absolutely perfect photo to accompany the words. I particularly enjoy when the art forms flow together.
    Thank you for being neighbourly and liking my post on the poet Simon Armitage, on my blog http://www.commaand.co, which exists to encourage other people’s creativity.
    If you pop back in 4 hours’ time, you’ll see an example of how he’s put video to a poem.

    Like

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