Feelings hurt

 

IMG_7669Was it wasted time?
How do I say I’m fine
once you’ve taken mine
before you walked away?

Did you have to go?
Should I have known?
We were walking slow
before you stopped it there.

Maybe I should’ve asked more questions along the way
but I was skipping around, naive as always
when all the god-given doubts were sent down to me.
Maybe I was happy I was no longer alone;
blinded ’cause I was not afraid anymore.
Maybe I didn’t know how to break through your walls.
I just stood and waited outside your door,
but baby, I was happy.

An innocent crime
in a devastating time —
where us people
are so replaceable.

Was it driven by fear?
Did is steer your wheel?
Nothing’s ever clear,
but it hurts in here
where my tears reside.

I wanted to give you the love I never received
and I would’ve waited to see your heart heal,
but not if you hurt me.
I need mine to keep yours clean.

 

Love,  Alyazya


16 thoughts on “Feelings hurt

  1. My my my…. Alyazya, your spirit is far more beautiful than your face. Actually that beautiful that I usually stop myself from looking at your blog. You know the feeling where someone knows someone too beautiful, and sort of like a magnet that will suck all of your being? Yeah, that sort. I apologize for not visiting your blog and now that you know the reason, I hope you’d keep forgiving me 🙂 Love you!

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  2. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:

    My my my…. Alyazya, your spirit is far more beautiful than your face. Actually that beautiful that I usually stop myself from looking at your blog. You know the feeling where someone knows someone too beautiful, and sort of like a magnet that will suck all of your being? Yeah, that sort. I apologize for not visiting your blog and now that you know the reason, I hope you’d keep forgiving me 🙂 Love you!

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  3. It’s hard to love someone who doesn’t know what’s really on his mind and what he really feels. Sometimes when you’re together you need to think that she’s the star of those times and no matter how talented and smart you are, you need to make him feel that he’s better and wiser than you. You need to feel that with your both pride / ego, you will never win. Above all, you need to make him feel that you love him more than he loves you.
    Sometimes you just have to pretend that everything is okay even it’s really not. You’ve continued to give your love even if he didn’t see you.
    I’m so stupid because I allow myself to be this way. Beyond everything under control, I still manage to smile. Without accepting anything in return? I’m still here. I know that we will never be together and we’re not meant for each other but I don’t want to lose him.
    I wish I could wake up one morning without all the feelings I have right now.
    I don’t deserve everything that happens and I know I shouldn’t have done all of this.
    How long will my world change? How will I see and felt this feeling with someone else and will my all and my true love to the right person?
    I’m just stupid, really. With my eyes that’s blind and can’t see? With my ears that’s deaf and can’t hear? And with my whole body I don’t feel nothing. I only have one focus.
    This is really wrong and the right thing to do is to love myself. It’s a waste of time and energy for a person who doesn’t love me back. It’s sad but it’s true. :((

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This may sound harsh but I believe that if you have to feed into someone’s insecurities and raise them up at the expense of your own growth, they are not worth loving. We all deserve to be with someone who cherishes our minds, hearts, character, and growth.

      Feelings are not special. They can be replaced. Love is not special. You can find it with anyone. What is special though, is respect and growth on both an emotional and intellectual level. I say respect because one needs to respect her/himself in order to walk away from a situation that does not serve them anymore.

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  4. This is beautiful writing, and it takes a lot of depth of character to be able to write as you have. I apologize for my late response; I am so behind in my writing. I think all of us have our own mental and emotional realities and we see and hear what we want and think we need. But often our wants and needs are not based on the reality of the outer world. It would be nice if we could always see others as they really are, and if we, as individuals could be always who we really are, and open about what our deepest needs and dreams speak to us. I think as we go through life, ultimately we get there somewhat, but there will always be that part of us that sees what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. I am 77 now and in a long-term relationship. What is good is that neither of us has anything to prove and we can just be who we are, with our flaws as well as our good sides. The drama of youth is gone, and we are comfortable with each other. We have no need to do or be other than who we are in this life. And so somehow, we see beyond each other’s human flaws that we all seem to have within us, and we are satisfied to be comfortable and real with each other. Thank you kindly.

    Liked by 1 person

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