On receiving love

Processed with VSCO with hb2 presetI thirst for love but I don’t know how to receive it. I play games to keep my heart safe. Sometimes, I believe I’m too weird to be wanted. Everything I do invites unwanted stares.

I hold things in until my facade turns to rubble ‘cause I’m afraid they’ll get bored of my troubles. I keep secrets because my thoughts are disturbing; the shadows chasing my dreams are frightening.

That was once upon my past. My demons are now slaves. My heart had its break. I am more me than anyone else. But, I must admit, I still don’t know how to receive love. I don’t know what to do when you sing sweet things to me. I don’t know how to be vulnerable, ‘cause I’m driven by fear.

Love,   Alyazya

22 thoughts on “On receiving love

  1. Who really loves you will not be afraid of your weirdness, your problems and your disturbing thoughts. At that point the fear that guides you will disappear and you will be fragile to receive love. Don’t be in a hurry and cultivate this incredible sensitivity that you have and that you can transform into words for those who feel the same emotions but cannot express themselves! Un abbraccio di forza e di affetto.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s reassuring to read this – even if it’s far from a position you want to be in as it seems us Humans are a complicated bunch. Overcoming the traps we place in front of ourselves is a tough one but I wish you all the best – took me a long time to get there and writing seems to help spell them out.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. If you chainlock the gate, burglars won’t enter. But also love will stand in the street, wet from rain, parched in the sun, chilled in the moonlight. Such love will be sad, ugly.

    Let it in. Risk its muddy paws. The heart heals itself again.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. How powerful … how insightful …. how deep…. thank you so much dear Alyazya …. LOVE is unfathomable I know …. and so beautiful in time ❤️

    Like

  5. Umm hey, I don’t know if this might make sense, but the following thought process helped me.
    See, we be savage to everyone around us, because we think they don’t have to know our true selves. I thought I can find my one good love and she will understand what I actually am.
    Start being nice to people that you normally aren’t. Start showing your love to everyone and you know you wouldn’t need this one love.
    Now you wouldn’t be afraid to accept or receive love because you have learnt how to show your love.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Fear….that most common of maladies. John talked about this in I John 4:18. 18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear hath torment.” We find security in God’s love for us.

    Like

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