I’m searching through my days for something that can explain this feeling.
I’m looking to escape a world that has no end.
I don’t know what to do about time when it’s fleeting,
but I know I’ll die soon so why waste my time trying to pretend.
I question whether my heart is done healing.
I dream of living without needing to defend.
I wonder if they notice what my walls are shielding…
Do they see my soul gleaming,
or my love for life deepening?
Or do they look for old wounds?
Will they attack? Will it hurt?
On what will their vision depend?
I search through seconds but they escape me.
I search through the stars but they’re already dead.
I search for answers and my mind is cursing me, because I never trust myself.
I shouldn’t have to question this but I’m choosing to be blind.
I shouldn’t have to wonder…
I shouldn’t have to defend.