They never know

I’ve become all the people I criticize
writing words to distract you from my all flaws.
I’ve become the greatest in a world of lies
hiding behind half-truths and obnoxious sighs
Bound by strict rules, unwilling to compromise
Leading people astray with my glamorous highs
Hiding my pain behind a shattered disguise 


I show them parts of me I think are pretty
And they’re mesmerized by my fake pearly smiles
Charmed by my beauty, oh, I’m a wondrous sight
Like hungry crows, they steal from my dwindling light
and show off the parts they robbed of me back home
because they know when the fog comes, I’ll be gone
and they can sell my scarred skin by the millions


But a life of glamour I can live no more
I’m done counting empty hours by the second
I’ll be searching for a warm home from now on
For something I can breathe, hold, and call my own
A blessing more precious than diamond and gold
A soft sounding melody that feeds my soul
The thing everyone lives and dies wishing for


When the sky clears up, they’ll look for my last words
and, the fools will find that they never knew me
cause my letters aren’t handwritten anymore
And my words unveil a hidden side of me:

     “They all want to be a part of me,
      and they like to believe that they know
      who I become when I’m all alone.

      I am all the light they want to see.
      They live like addicts under my glow,
      but they can’t look into the unknown.

     Oh, my baby, baby, don’t you know?
     I do not have humble beginnings,
     but I do come from a broken home.

     So, excuse me if I want to go
     to a faraway place with my words.
     I am just a person after all,
     trying to survive in a sick world.

     Baby, I don’t want you to save me,
     but will you escape the world with me?
     Let’s run away and hide in your room.
     We’ll build a castle inside these walls.

     Take my hand, come along for the show.
     Put on this crown and sit on the throne.
     Let’s rule over the space between us.
     It’s not a sin to have these feelings.

     Dear, we are God’s artistic expression.
     And, he placed the two of us together
     cause our bodies can make a masterpiece;
     sweet harmonies as we dance to the rhythm.

     You found an oasis in this desert,
     discovered a life in a soulless place.
     If you keep bringing Spring’s greenery here,
     you can take it as yours to rule over.

     Your warm water trickles down my trees, and
     they don’t die because pine is evergreen.

     Like Milton’s Devil, you seduced me, and
     now, I beg you to ravish, devour me.
     Forgive me God, I too, am left stunned by
     my desire to sleep with your enemy.” 

Love, Alyazya


23 thoughts on “They never know

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